I was enjoying a lovely evening with my friends whom I had met after 2 years. It was fun and a happy conversation. We were having fun making fun of others and never realized that we had crossed our limits. One girl always came up with one or the other negative comments about all the people we talked about. It started annoying me and the rest of the group as well.
I guess we all have that one friend who enjoys making fun of others in not the most elegant way. Sometimes we like it, sometimes we hate it or sometimes we don’t realize we are the ones who are making it. It made me think on a few questions like
Why do we do it?
Why do we actually comment on someone else? What are the situations we do it in? Sometimes I tend to do it when someone is doing something out of the expected norm. I guess we as a society talk about change a lot and the moment we see it happening, it perhaps scares us for the time being, and then maybe we feel a little threatened, sometimes a little jealous and sometimes the whole thing might be really stupid. But the truth is that we like to talk about people and there is certainly nothing wrong about it. We are simply human! Isn’t that what we are supposed to be?
How does it come across?
Well it is natural that we talk about someone else, we pass comments, sometimes judgements, sometimes even gossips and all of them are in really good humour as well and the people around us tend to laugh at it too. And who doesn’t love being the centre of attraction? It does feel good sometimes. But again there is another question though – At what cost?!
At the risk of repeating myself, I would say it does sound cool, people seem to be around you laughing. But again everything has a limit, a line, a barrier which we draw and the moment it crosses that line, it becomes personal. It becomes very easy to make that shift and you would be surprised how quick your audience react and move away from you, not only making you feel stupid, it makes you go through an introspection.
Then how do we maintain the balance?
I have read somewhere that great humour is the one when the joke is on you. And it does take quite an accomplished character to make fun of his own mistakes. It tells one two things
1) How fast and effectively you have moved on from your mistakes
2) How big you are, cos it takes a lot of courage to accept your own mistake and to make fun of it, it takes a larger amount of courage than that.
So the next time you make fun of someone, well think of it, why not you? You may be improving your sense of humour!
Well even if we know this, I do agree that it is impossible sometimes to make fun of someone, esp when the situation forces you. And you are free to make comments, and that is not bad either. But somehow somewhere we just need to bring in that balance! It is pretty cool to make fun of something they don’t associate closely with. But if that person is strongly associated with something, then I would say that it is a strict NO NO! Keep it neutral, keep it simple, make fun but don’t offend that someone!
The best way to look at it might be to imagine ourselves in that situation and see if that is something we would be comfortable with. If the answer is no, well I guess it is best to avoid it then!
Did you say that a good boy never gets credit?
Well I do agree with you and I definitely am against the good boys. But again there is a slight difference between being charming and being a complete idiot! And that sensitivity is definitely something that makes the difference 🙂