A Tension Free Life
We all live in a fast paced life don’t we and the common words we see are tension, stress, anxiety and a lot more. But let us talk about tension and stress today. I think one of the most common questions we find on a day to day basis is
– How to avoid tension?
– How to avoid stress?
– How can I live a free life and be actually happy?
Here are a few thoughts on tension and a tension free life which can help you answer these questions and perhaps ask a few new ones to steer life in desired direction.
What is the difference between stress and tension?
There is a very light difference between the meaning of tension and stress. Tension is something which we have in anticipation of something, the iota of that doubt whether we would be able to do something or not.
Whereas the meaning of stress refers to a time when there is a looming fear on the top of our head which keeps telling us that we cannot do it.
So, in a way, tension means something which can lead to stress and stress means something which can lead you to anxiety which can further lead you to panic and then depression.
Whoa! There are a whole set of words here!! If you are looking at anxiety – here are 7 creative ways to deal with anxiety
Well! Whatever these definitions are, the best way to respond to them is attacking them at the source and resolving them right there, nip the problem at the bud, let it not intensify, let it not get to a stage where it goes off your hand. It is easier to solve it at this stage.
What gets you tensed?
What is it that makes you tensed? For me, it is the fear whether I would be able to live up to my standards or the expectations of people. It is the fear sometimes whether I would be able to deliver the expected results or whether I would get what I truly deserve in life and so many more thoughts like those. What are yours? What gets you tensed?
What makes you happy? What can change your mood with the clap of your hand?
If you know the answer to the first question above, there is no way you can say that you don’t know the answer for this. What is it that helps you set your mind off and on, what resets you.
What makes you think that there is nothing but this only one thing – Is it being with your loved one, is it music, is it going out for a run, is it talking to a trusted friend, is it watching a hilarious movie or writing a post like this?
Whatever it is, you need to come up with your stress buster list. This is a part of knowing yourself better.
What is the tension trying to tell you?
Why is it that you are getting tensed? Is it because you think that you have taken too much of responsibility than you can handle? Is it because you are uncertain whether you can do something or not?
If that is the case then I suggest you look at this post : 10 productive ways to deal with uncertainty.
But what is this tension trying to tell you? Is it asking you to improve your quality? Is it asking you to doubt your capacities? Is it asking you to test your levels of preparation? What is the underlying message in this tensed scenario? What is the true message it is trying to deliver?
How much of it is real?
The first important question we ask about a fear is – How much of it is real?! It reminds me of the quote from Will Smith – ” Fear is not real, danger is”. True, fear is an illusions, it makes us think a lot of things and it makes us think of a lot of scenarios of which most of them never occur.
As Mark Twain says – ” I suffered a great many misfortunes in my life – Most of which never happened!“
At some point, we need to ask ourselves if we are over thinking it! Remember, a man who thinks more than necessary suffers more than necessary. You need to find a way to come out of this trap. Have a look at this post on 10 ways to stop overthinking which may change your approach
Identify the real and the imaginary fears, segregate them, this will help you realize what you should be taking action upon – some real and some imaginary!
What can you do about it?
What is the action you can take right now to relieve you out of this? If you have a hundred phone calls to make in the next 2 days and you are stressed about it – what is the best way you can go about it? Maybe making a list of similar phone calls can help.
Making those questions you need to ask and finding a similarity between them and organizing accordingly. If there is anything you can do along with it, mixing it helps or in other words it is called chunking – for example you can mix learning and exercise by simply using an earphone and an audio book while you run or exercise or cook. You can save time, you can find a way to work it out.
Remember that there is always a solution
Just because you are completely stressed out and you feel that there is no way out doesn’t mean that there is no way out. If the traditional methods don’t come to your rescue, use the unconventional ones.
History is not made by people who have always followed the rules. History is made by the crazy ones who found ways to come up with innovative solutions. Steve Jobs could have retired when he was sacked from Apple, cos there didn’t seem to a straightforward solution.
But it took something more to hold on to it. The belief in yourself trumps all. You got to keep respecting yourself.
Stop disrespecting yourself!
Every time you say that you are not capable, every time you doubt your ability, you are insulting yourself. Everytime you get tensed because of these reasons, you are insulting yourself.
Stop that! Stop putting yourself through this! You are better than that.
And know that it is a cyclic effect!
It is a cyclic situation when you don’t do anything about it cos you are too worried about something and that in turn gives you something else to worry about which in turn gives you something more and so on. The cycle never ends.
Apart from these, I can always suggest listening to good music or yoga or meditation or many other ways with which you can control it or distract yourself with, but I would rather say, understanding yourself better is way more powerful than anything else can give you. The other factors can amplify certain essence of you, but this is who you are and this is how great you can be, so why not be that?