Are you a perfect speaker? Or a perfect communication expert? Well! If the answer is don’t care – then you are either in a little bit of trouble or very confident of yourself and if the answer is yes, then read on, the article below might change how you look at communication and of course your life and its outlook.
We have spoken over and over again in our previous articles as to why communication is so important and how to communicate. And it most certainly is one of the most underrated skills in the society and also sometimes in the work culture. I take an issue to the use of the word soft skills, I certainly don’t think it is a soft one and it certainly can go a long way in leaving a lasting impression about you.
Now, coming to the topic, what are the fears you have about your communication skills? Among the many fears like language or stutters or overuse of words or underuse and sometimes the use of wrong ones. And sometimes there is a fear which makes us rethink whether we should use that communication in the first place or better stay quiet than talking wrong. Either way, we are missing out on an opportunity this way when we don’t express ourselves. Here are a few thoughts on how to get over the fear of wrong communication or using wrong words while speaking to people
1) What is your fear about communication?
What are you afraid of? Is it the use of wrong words? Is it because you think people judge you while speaking. Well! I am not going to say that they don’t. People do judge you when you speak, they judge your upbringing, they judge your education and sometimes they even judge who you are by the way you speak. I know it is unfair, no one has the right to judge you unless they know you well. But in order to know you well, you need to create a smooth entry point and you can do that very effectively with effective communication.
2) What do you want to communicate about?
True that most of the communication is in your body language, your expressions, gestures and the way you look into their eyes, the gait with which you stand and so much more, language you use also matters a lot cos all these other factors add that weight to the use of your words and the way you communicate with people. Identify what you want to communicate about with your audience. It may be on a stage or it maybe an informal social gathering, the topic you choose is going to make a lot of difference and your knowledge about it too matters a good deal.
3) What holds you back?
What is it that is holding you back? Is it the fear of using wrong grammar or is it the fear of using wrong words in communication? Is it the fear that people are judging you or is it the fear that this is your only chance and you can’t afford to make a mistake? Well, whatever the answers are, the one common thread is that there is a fear, there is that something which is holding you back.
If any of these are the reasons, there are some smart solutions available. If it is the use of words, there are some lovely books like “Word Power Made Easy” which can elevate your daily communication and arsenal of words when you talk to people. If it is about the use of grammar, then make sure you talk to your friends in that language, ask them to point out your mistakes. Make all the mistakes you want to now with your friends, with the trusted ones so that there isn’t much to make when the need arises :).
4) The Matter is more important than the words!
Yes! I know I am contradicting a little about what I a little earlier. But it is true, some might feel a little odd that your language is not that great, but the points you make hold stronger water in the communication process. You need to realize that words are just words and it is you who matters more than those. People don’t mind someone using a wrong word as long as it is not offensive, they don’t mind wrong grammar as long as you are making a strong point, they don’t even judge if they are with you for the conversation. And for the people who judge, they are really not worth all that pain to worry about.
5) Don’t think what others are thinking about you!
People are thinking about a lot of things. That has no relevance or significance to what you are thinking about or what you have in mind. It is inconsequential and you can’t impress everyone in this world. There will be atleast that one person who is unhappy about anything you do! Don’t worry about them. Communication and your talk is focused on what your points are and your story. There is no way you can allow someone else or a silly comment to push you down.
And if you are worried about someone else judging you, it is about time that you stop judging yourself! Here is a post talking about 8 steps to stop judging people and here is one as to how to react when someone judges you!
6) Don’t bother the critics!
Well, there shall be critics, there will be the ones who will raise a hue and cry, there will be those annoying purists who find fault with everything you do. Well, it is their problem! Let them solve it for themselves. Don’t waste your energy thinking about what they feel about it. If you can learn something from it and take it as a feedback, take it and improve yourselves. If not, please feel free to chuck it, it is useless!
And if you keep encountering critics regularly, here are 10 things to overcome the bad feeling of criticism
7) What is the worst that can happen?
What can go wrong? People will laugh at you? People will sue you for the use of wrong words? People will not invite you for social gatherings? Well they all can be true to a certain extent but none of them are justified. And even if you are not invited, they are not inviting a behavior and not a person. It just means that there is something which can be worked on now and can be made better and that can come productive in a long way in your future.
8) Focus on people and not your language.
Language comes and language goes. Your primary goal is the people and that is all, nothing else. The rest is inconsequential!