Author: Preethi AnanthaNarasimhan
When People Talk Behind Your Back
Well no matter how great we are, there is always someone who is not satisfied with it and there is always someone pointing fingers at you. Here are 6 simple things to do when people talk behind your back
1) Why are they doing it?
It’s not rare that we find ourselves cornered in life. Be it in school, college, family or work place. It’s not the easiest of things to deal with when the ones you trusted are bitching about you behind your back. And the worst part of it all is you hardly ever know the reason. It could all be a huge misunderstanding or a misinterpretation of what you said or did. And sometimes simply because your actions hurt somebody without your knowledge.
2) What others think of you is none of your business!
If it is just somebody in your friends circle or family or at work place you are not too close to, here is a quote I read a while ago: “what others think of you is none of your business”. It’s best to ignore them and carry on with life. Try not to get affected by it. Block it out of you mind and stay calm and say it’s not your business and laugh it off.
3) If it is someone who matters to you
If it is somebody that matters to you, nothing better than sorting out with them. Talk it out! It works most of the times between close friends and family! Remember, be prepared to hear unpleasant things. Coz, yes, they’re pissed off for some reason. They’ll throw muck at you. Just stay calm and take it. Tolerate!
4) Give it some time
Hear what they have to say. And give it some time, think before you tell them how you feel. See if it was reasonable for them to have done what they did. If they were right and you were insensitive, accept it and apologize. There’s nothing shameful in accepting a mistake. It won’t make you a smaller person. If things work out, you’ll end up feeling like a bigger person when things are sorted out.
5) Tell them how it made you feel
Let them know how it made you feel as patiently as you can. It’s very natural to get emotional when you’re talking with somebody so close to you about something that’s so personal. Prepare, if necessary rehearse what you are going to say to them before you go and talk to them. That way you can make sure you emotions don’t affect your conversation. You gotta think straight :). You screw it up here, it might never be the same again.
6) Before All this – Ask yourself – Is it really worth it?
It’s got to make sense now! If it doesn’t, it’s not worth fighting with such people. It’s not easy to just let somebody put you down. Don’t take it if you think the person is not worth it. But you won’t know who is worth it and who isn’t until you try.
So try talking it out with them and if doesn’t work out, remember the first rule, you don’t have to waste your time and energy thinking about what worthless people think about you! But trying to sort it will save you from regretting it later. You’ll have the satisfaction that you did your bit to clear the problem.
And you’ll definitely feel like a bigger person for having tried to clear things. 🙂
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