I came across a very interesting question today about people. The question read this –
How To Identify Good People?
The question although sounded a bit basic at first, I realize that it is equally important to understand how we differentiate good people and bad people in life.
What is the ideal definition of good people? – Are they the ones who do a lot for the society? Are they the ones who look out for you all the time?
– Are they the ones who do a lot for the society? Are they the ones who look out for you all the time?
– Are they the ones who look out for you all the time?
– Are they the ones you trust with your deepest troubles?
– Are they most fun to be with?
– Are they someone who you can connect well with?
I guess I can come up with a lot more questions like this. But one thing is true – we all have a different definition of good people and each one of us have a definition based on our perspective towards life and people and their relevance to our lives.
Why the definition?
It is pretty simple – Our lives are precious. Hence, we would like to share it with someone who actually deserves it. I wouldn’t like to go and make a friend of every person I see. I do have a few base standards and a few base requirements they have to fulfil before I consider them a good person or rather a person who is going to be relevant in my life.
There is nothing called good or bad?
Well! This rather sounds a bit philosophical indeed, doesn’t it? Well if it is mere theory, I would be among the first one to neglect it. We are asking this question only because we need an answer to it and not just a philosophical reassurance. We want to know who we can trust our lives with and rightly so.
Although I would stand by the above statement that there is nothing good or bad, I would certainly say that there is something which is relevant to us or not. The moment we sense a threat in someone, we end the conversation, we avoid that person and don’t bother much about staying in touch with them. We all have our defence mechanisms and they get active the moment they see any threat.
The situations are important.
Well, we already said that there is nothing good or bad in this world. Even a murderer has his own story, but sometimes it becomes too much for us to handle and we prefer to stay away and avoid acknowledging even knowing that person. We do this not because we are mean or selfish, we do it because we have our own definitions of people and that is not wrong.
But give that leeway to the people you meet, try to look at their situation with curiosity. Ask the question why instead of jumping to a conclusion if they are good and whether you should cut them off your lives. Each person has a story, listen to it first before deciding whether it is a good or bad one. The intentions do matter sometimes.
Do the definitions hurt us?
This might be an interesting and a better question to ask. We will probably never find an answer to the question if someone is absolutely good or not. It is not a perfect science or math, the situations make someone good or someone bad. Having said that, the more open we are about people, the more we can share our lives with them. Although we have our definitions of good and bad people, we cannot stick to them by the rule and apply it to everyone we meet.
Each person will have his own limitations and sadly enough they cannot be there for you all the time, nor can they live up to that exact definition of a good or bad person. Eventually, people are just people – good or bad just comes with the circumstance we both are placed into.
So, instead of worrying if someone is good or not, instead of creating a definition for people, we could rather focus on identifying what is good in someone.
Life is pretty simple, we always get what we focus on – we focus on the “bad” we meet only the bad ones and when we focus on the “good” – it is fascinating that we meet good people. Instead just forget the definition of good or bad and simply live life and let others be a part of your life.
There is a lot to appreciate in this world. Don’t be bogged down by definitions and miss out on an opportunity to know some wonderful people just because you are too caught up in trying to decide if someone is good or not.
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