People’s Advice: 10 Things You Have To Be Careful About

Posted on Posted in A-Z, How to, Personal

Well giving an advice is entirely free, I only wish sometimes there was a cost on listening to them. At least in such a case people would register a caution before giving you some really stupid advises! And most times we know that these advises make little sense and many a time they are not even related to the question you have in your mind, nor does it ease the dilemma. Instead it just accentuates the sensation of listlessness you already have and that goes on for a while.

Here are top 10 things you should be careful about when you listen to someone’s advice!

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It is always very essential to know why you need something and what you hope to gain out of a conversation. If it comes to generic advice, then you are headed for huge trouble, you will hear all sorts of things right from how you could be taller to how the Prime Minister could have handled the issue! So, it definitely helps to have a very specific agenda. And even if you have a problem, it helps to know what specific part of the problem is it that you are going to seek help for. Don’t just say you have office trouble, don’t even say that your manager is not right, keep it as specific as possible. You want a suggestion, not a worldly advice!


What do you hope to get from the conversation? Is it sympathy or a solution? If the answer is sympathy, well then don’t worry at all, talk to someone who loves you deeply and says how bad the world is and cribs along with you. If you are however looking for a solution, there is a great likelihood that you will get it without any doubt! Evaluate what you really want before going to someone for advice


When you share your problem with someone and get an advice in return, it pays to know why they are giving you such an advice. Is it because they care about you, or is it because they have a prior experience in that field or is it because they just think that they are smart. Come on! You are smart too, you can understand the real agenda behind someone’s talk and what exactly they are trying to say and most importantly why


Most times I have realized that many people react to their past, even when giving you the necessary advice. For example, if you ask a conservative person about quitting your job – you might get two responses based on his personality

– A very motivating answer that you should

One of the reasons for this is that they want you to succeed or the other is that they want to have that vicarious joy and quench their own adventurous spirit

– A serious gyaan as to why you should not quit

That is perhaps a much expected one, for someone having lived a conservative life, there is a great probability that you get a conservative advice as well.

So, be a little careful and realize what is happening. Whether they are responding to your problem or theirs


Are they questioning you, trying to make you understand a perspective and make you ask yourself what you can do? Are they instigating you towards a solution or are they imposing their ideas on you. You have to be quite careful with the types who impose their ideas on you. Some of them can be very compelling and very suave in it, but you have to know who the smarter one is and any answer other than you is not going to be very valid!


This would be quite a deal breaker for most of us. Before asking anyone about their advice, it pays to know what they have done in that regard which makes them capable to give you advice. You can’t go and ask for advice on being an actor from a mathematician! You have to pick and choose the person. Someone can’t give you a reliable suggestion just because they love you. There has to be that something which qualifies them, which makes them capable of giving you the advice. If not, you better take it with a pinch of salt.


While some of them give an empty advice in the air and don’t care much whether you follow up on them, there are some who take it very personally and follow you up on how you go ahead from there. I have had a couple of such people who would be extremely unhappy if I tried an alternate method and they would go to the world’s end to prove that I was wrong and that they were right. It makes sense to steer a little away from such people. It is your story, it is your LIFE and it is your answer at the end of the day, the other person can be a prop to help you but not the ultimate solution


At one end, you need to steer away from people who take it very personally, and at the other end you also have to be careful about people who take it in a very non committal manner. The problem with such people is that you will never get a personalized suggestion, all you get would be a generic idea and most of it can be utterly useless to you


Well all being said and done, there are some real gems when it comes to giving advice, some like me 😛 :D. I kid of course! But humor aside, there really are some gems who can understand what you are going through and leave those questions in your mind, making you ask yourself as to what can be done better. Don’t let go of those, those are the ones which can make a HUGE difference in your life


No matter what anyone says, the decision is ultimately yours and you can’t let anyone influence you on that. It is your story, it is your life and you are the one who is going to face those consequences. None of the people who gave you advice will take responsibility for the consequences, none of them should either. So, be a little careful about that.

Here is a post which will help you on decision making : Why things won’t work? – Decision Making!

Hope these ideas help, if you are in need for any advice, or if there is a specific issue bothering you, please write to us below for our expert advice 😉 😛 and we will be very happy to answer. And if you think that there is something discreet you want to talk about, we are available at

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23 thoughts on “People’s Advice: 10 Things You Have To Be Careful About

  1. What a lovely post Vinay. I must say you did the postmortem quite well 🙂 Honestly there are many people who can give advice to anyone, like me, who can poke their nose at anyone, despite knowing the fact that the other person might need not require your advice. But guys like me cannot be able to control their feelings, when they see someone might need an advice, they can start at that time 🙂

    To be very frank, you made such a nice post that I wished everyone should read it…

    1. Its rapidly becoming my signature style to barge in Alok’s comment box and trouble you both 🙁 till solving it by a good advice guess we should take it with a pinch of salt 🙂
      Great post Vinay… I agree that not only while giving but one should take care while asking for advice as easier but unethical or temporary solutions work AGAINST life and relations in long run… better to be clear headed and find the root-cause of the situation/problem and take second opinions only after reaching to a solution of your own…and that too from GEMS ! 😀

      1. Thank you Kokila :).. He he 😀 .. I am still not sure why the comment box is not showing at your end, I even sent a mail to Disqus quoting this problem, but they came back with an elaborate suggestion asking me to ask you to contact them which I frankly thought was too much of a journey. I am really happy to see your comments on my posts, they are all very valid and personalized points, makes me feel really good about coming up with such posts and gives me that inspiration to do further research on articles and the types we should be coming up with 🙂 .

        As for the post, I very much agree, the short term responses and the short term goals are certainly a huge pain and they almost always work against us defeating the entire purpose in the first place. It is always better to look at it from the larger picture and see if it makes proper sense.. He he , the GEMS indeed 😉

        1. Thanks Alok .Your generosity is the precise reason I choose ‘your’ box for commenting 🙂 And NO Sorry-vorry! I myself is so erratic in posting/blogging/commenting and replying that you are a Demi-God doing work,family AND regular blogging ! 🙂

    2. Thank you Alok, to be very frank, I was not very sure how this post would come out. But seeing this response, it makes me feel that it was really worth it going to the next level on these type of posts. I hope the posts are getting more useful these days, kinda feel like that we should be adding more value and more valid points for the audience, or else the whole point of this blog and spending time on it doesn’t reach the real purpose :).

      Hopefully that day will come soon Alok, with your tips on SEO and the ideas to take things to the next level, I am sure things will start falling into place 🙂

  2. A very apt advice, Vinay. While receiving advice, one must find out the intention behind whether the person is just trying to impress you or really serious about helping you.

  3. That was a cool advice. 🙂 As Alok said the Post mortem was good. :). One of my seniors once told me “Suno Sabki Karo apne mann ki” (Listen to all but do what your heart says.)

    1. Thank you Datta :). Frankly I have been so fed up of these advices, esp when you are set out to do something in this world, people have so many different opinions and that too such strong ones, it makes you feel that you should hit them right on the head and ask them to stop 😛 😀 .. But that happens only in theory, in practice, the best I could do is either listen or pretend to listen and then carry on with what I was doing. Kinda like a buffalo 😛 😀

  4. Nice and informative. Most of the time we know how things are and where we stand. We ask for opinion hoping against hope that the other person may say something different.

    1. Thank you Abhijit :). I agree, most times we do know where we stand and what we can gain out of it, sometimes an external gratification also becomes important depending on how deep a trouble we are in. Like you aptly said – Hoping against hope!

  5. Hello Vinay, What a good read, words are less to appreciate the good work…:). It genuinely bring my conscious mind to think large. Very Inspiring article….:)

    1. Thank you Priyashi :). I am actually liking the posts these days, it gives me the feeling that I am able to connect better and talk about the real issues instead of drifting off to a philosophical aspect :). Feels really good indeed and these lovely comments bring a wide smile on my face 🙂

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