Well giving an advice is entirely free, I only wish sometimes there was a cost on listening to them. At least in such a case people would register a caution before giving you some really stupid advises! And most times we know that these advises make little sense and many a time they are not even related to the question you have in your mind, nor does it ease the dilemma. Instead it just accentuates the sensation of listlessness you already have and that goes on for a while.
Here are top 10 things you should be careful about when you listen to someone’s advice!
1) WHY DO YOU NEED ADVICE
It is always very essential to know why you need something and what you hope to gain out of a conversation. If it comes to generic advice, then you are headed for huge trouble, you will hear all sorts of things right from how you could be taller to how the Prime Minister could have handled the issue! So, it definitely helps to have a very specific agenda. And even if you have a problem, it helps to know what specific part of the problem is it that you are going to seek help for. Don’t just say you have office trouble, don’t even say that your manager is not right, keep it as specific as possible. You want a suggestion, not a worldly advice!
2) WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO GET FROM IT?
What do you hope to get from the conversation? Is it sympathy or a solution? If the answer is sympathy, well then don’t worry at all, talk to someone who loves you deeply and says how bad the world is and cribs along with you. If you are however looking for a solution, there is a great likelihood that you will get it without any doubt! Evaluate what you really want before going to someone for advice
3) WHY ARE THEY GIVING YOU THAT ADVICE?
When you share your problem with someone and get an advice in return, it pays to know why they are giving you such an advice. Is it because they care about you, or is it because they have a prior experience in that field or is it because they just think that they are smart. Come on! You are smart too, you can understand the real agenda behind someone’s talk and what exactly they are trying to say and most importantly why
4) ARE THEY REACTING TO YOUR PROBLEMS?
Most times I have realized that many people react to their past, even when giving you the necessary advice. For example, if you ask a conservative person about quitting your job – you might get two responses based on his personality
– A very motivating answer that you should
One of the reasons for this is that they want you to succeed or the other is that they want to have that vicarious joy and quench their own adventurous spirit
– A serious gyaan as to why you should not quit
That is perhaps a much expected one, for someone having lived a conservative life, there is a great probability that you get a conservative advice as well.
So, be a little careful and realize what is happening. Whether they are responding to your problem or theirs
5) WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO?
Are they questioning you, trying to make you understand a perspective and make you ask yourself what you can do? Are they instigating you towards a solution or are they imposing their ideas on you. You have to be quite careful with the types who impose their ideas on you. Some of them can be very compelling and very suave in it, but you have to know who the smarter one is and any answer other than you is not going to be very valid!
6) WHAT QUALIFIES THEM TO GIVE YOU ADVICE?
This would be quite a deal breaker for most of us. Before asking anyone about their advice, it pays to know what they have done in that regard which makes them capable to give you advice. You can’t go and ask for advice on being an actor from a mathematician! You have to pick and choose the person. Someone can’t give you a reliable suggestion just because they love you. There has to be that something which qualifies them, which makes them capable of giving you the advice. If not, you better take it with a pinch of salt.
7) SOME PEOPLE TAKE IT PERSONALLY!
While some of them give an empty advice in the air and don’t care much whether you follow up on them, there are some who take it very personally and follow you up on how you go ahead from there. I have had a couple of such people who would be extremely unhappy if I tried an alternate method and they would go to the world’s end to prove that I was wrong and that they were right. It makes sense to steer a little away from such people. It is your story, it is your LIFE and it is your answer at the end of the day, the other person can be a prop to help you but not the ultimate solution
8) SOME PEOPLE TAKE IT IN A NON COMMITTAL MANNER
At one end, you need to steer away from people who take it very personally, and at the other end you also have to be careful about people who take it in a very non committal manner. The problem with such people is that you will never get a personalized suggestion, all you get would be a generic idea and most of it can be utterly useless to you
9) THE GEMS
Well all being said and done, there are some real gems when it comes to giving advice, some like me 😛 :D. I kid of course! But humor aside, there really are some gems who can understand what you are going through and leave those questions in your mind, making you ask yourself as to what can be done better. Don’t let go of those, those are the ones which can make a HUGE difference in your life
10) PINCH OF SALT
No matter what anyone says, the decision is ultimately yours and you can’t let anyone influence you on that. It is your story, it is your life and you are the one who is going to face those consequences. None of the people who gave you advice will take responsibility for the consequences, none of them should either. So, be a little careful about that.
Here is a post which will help you on decision making : Why things won’t work? – Decision Making!
Hope these ideas help, if you are in need for any advice, or if there is a specific issue bothering you, please write to us below for our expert advice 😉 😛 and we will be very happy to answer. And if you think that there is something discreet you want to talk about, we are available at firstname.lastname@example.org